
Arrrggg!! i want to say something, something clever, something that would make everything better, something that can stop everyones conversations, and make me the focus of attention, but its not what it seems, egotistic, it has nothing to do with this desire, au contrair mon petite ami, its pure altruism, for you see, its part of human nature try to fix what is broken, and some broken things are fix with words, actually its one "thing" and we are not sure yet as how its is "real", you can think as a scientist and call it chemical reactions, you can feel like a bohemian revolutionary and say its a wonder that can never be signify by mere words, you can evangelize by saying its gods gift, its the true essence of a being, its our soul, but when i say i want to say something clever, its not just a shout out of overrated words with misunderstood or even ignore meaning, what i want is to block the sun with a finger, because that is the first thing that comes to mind, when im trying to fix this chemicals slash unbound slash existential thing, specially the one that react/lives/exist inside, the body of the person that my reactions/truthful toughts/mystical existence, are based around, i see into her past, and find things that are bigger than just a bad tought, are more scary than bad poem, lest spiritual than the idea of sacrilege, when reading a book the more exquisite/bizzare/angelical the twists are the better the story, but when the story is not been told but being experience,live,walked, well the whole becomes real, becomes cold hard facts, we desensitize and the one that was progress, in medieval times, becomes a trap for the soul/the free mind and what is when i need to scream perfect words, need to act, need to shepherd, i need to help/be there/merge, but i only think on bohemian, the dogma of the dogmatic, that tells me that after l have sing the "lovers secret song" everything goes animated and blue sky, and that is how i am, she well, science is not, nor spirit now she has become something from another realm, one that im unfamiliar with, and cant start to understand, so one sentence wont be enough, no mater how perfect it is, the wishes, the cold fact, and the spiritualism, will have to be one to begin the healing/restoration/reborn, of my broken object, i need to be a scientist that needs to recalibrate it, a bohemian that will re imagine it and a believer that will pray for it, and at the end all i can say is something that will not stop the world, nor will be remember in books as a famous clever quote, but something that if i say it right will let her know not only that her brain electric impulses/unbound thoughts/ spiritual formation that are making her segregate lacrimal substances/express her pain/, mourn her soul, will be my only foe, for years to come, but also let her know that first comes fraternity even more heart's desire, in simple words, i will say: i "will", i just "will" for you. J